Fruits of Success: Non verbal communication

Showing posts with label Non verbal communication - Body language. Show all posts

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Be careful with that selling #touch - Topography of social touching

TV cameras caught UK Prime Minister David Cameron employing a most personal touch, in of all environments, a state banquet held in honour of China’s President Xi last week.

The Prime Minister was filmed giving Hugo Swire MP a playful pat on the bottom at the lavish Buckingham Palace occasion.

Mr Cameron walked up behind Foreign Office minister, Hugo Swire, a fellow Old Etonian, and reached out to touch his backside to grab his attention. Mr Swire then turned round to embrace Mr Cameron, and the pair walked off in conversation together.

A tweet of the incident by Chris Ship went 'viral'.

However I would imagine that the Prime behaviour Minister's would not have surprised those researchers of ' the topography of social touching' . Oxford University teamed up with Finland’s Aalto University to ask more than 1368 men and women from five countries - the UK, Finland, Denmark, Russia and Italy - to colour areas on diagrams of the human body to depict where they would allow particular people to touch, ranging from their partner to a stranger.

The Touch Map Research as covered
by the Daily Mail Newspaper

The Research leader said ‘It is the relationship rather than familiarity that matters. A friend we haven’t seen for some time will still be able to touch areas where an acquaintance we see every day would not.” ( ergo Mr Cameron and Mr Swire see above)

Professor Robin Dunbar, who led the study, said while a kiss on first meeting was now considered socially acceptable, people will often adopt an "arm hold" simultaneously to make the whole ordeal less awkward.

The research, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, also shows a distinct difference between men and women and where a person finds a particular place on their body "acceptable" or "inappropriate" to be touched.

Women are generally more comfortable being touched than men, but find it inappropriate to be touched intimately by anyone other than their partner or mother.

Topography of social touching depends on emotional bonds between humans

Surprisingly perhaps, the study found that women are more happy to be touched, and by a wider range of people, than men.
Russians are more comfortable with being touched than Italians (although no one was quite as happy to be touched as the Finns !).

The researchers said: "These body regions formed relationship-specific maps in which the total area was directly related to the strength of the emotional bond between the participant and the touching person.

Cultural influences were minor.

We suggest that these relation-specific bodily patterns of social touch constitute an important mechanism supporting the maintenance of human social bonds "

The researchers concluded the bodily area others are allowed to touch represent the strength of the relationship-specific emotional bond.

"We propose that the spatial patterns of human social touch reflect an important mechanism supporting the maintenance of social bonds."

‘It is the relationship rather than familiarity that matters. A friend we haven’t seen for some time will still be able to touch areas where an acquaintance we see every day would not.

‘Touch is universal. While culture does modulate how we experience it, generally we all respond to touching in the same ways.'

"Even in an era of mobile communications and social media, touch is still important for establishing and maintaining the bonds between people.!"

Aalto University researcher Julia Suvilehto suggested the results of the study (the largest of its kind ever attempted) showed touch was “an important means of maintaining social relationships.

“The greater the pleasure caused by touching a specific area of the body, the more selectively we allow others to touch it.”

It's even gone feely-touchy on BBC Radio 4's
Today Programme !

The famously bald Revd. Dr. Giles Fraser was in the Radio 4 Today studio ready to broadcast his “Thought for the day “ contribution this morning.

Another guest of the programme present in the studio, was the Conservative MP David Davis. Mr. Davis was there to comment on the House of Lords who the previous night had voted to delay tax credit cuts and to compensate those affected in full.

David Davis and Giles Fraser clearly know each other.

As the news item on the 'Touch Map Research' story was being read out, Mr Davis apparently patted the iconic pate of the parish priest (of St Mary's, Newington, near the Elephant and Castle, London). There was much giggling in the studio amongst the guests and Today team..

Later Giles Fraser tweeted jokingly

“That's the first time I have ever been felt up by a Tory MP live on the Today programme. @DavidDavisMP @BBCr4today”

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Sales Space Invaders #PersonalSpace

When meeting any customer or business contact, it is critical to let them set a comfortable personal space.

If the buyer 's tendency is to move in close or stay removed physically and doesn't correspond to your own personal space preference, recognise the fact that you’re not going to be operating in your comfort zone.

You can become more accustomed to different comfort zones by practising :

Ben walks towards Ben N, Katey observes

Delegates can learn about this if paired up and stand about 6 feet away from each other.

Pair them up getting one partner to stand still whilst the other starts walking toward the one standing still. It is useful to lay out a measuring tape on the floor

When the one standing still feels their slow walking pair colleague is getting uncomfortably close, they ask him or her to stop / raise their hand in front of them. An observer can see the slight flits that the eyes do in the fight or fight response

By making a note of the the approximate distance between their feet they can identify the still stander’s comfort zone.

Pav and Janie identifying when they encroach
on their personal space preferences

Then they can continue slowly forward, encroaching on the still stander’s personal space.

It is worth noting how uncomfortable this feels, and recognise that when you invade someone else's personal space, (s)he feels the same discomfort. It teaches you to develop a sensitivity to not encroach on a client’s personal space.

Invading a customer’s personal space almost guarantees they won’t feel at ease with you.

Standing too far away is less problematic, but it still won’t put them in the mood to buy.

Pay attention to your customer's cues for face-to-face interaction.

This is worth being aware of in situations such as face to face meetings, networking events, corporate hospitality gatherings and working an exhibition stand.

Richard and Ngatia prepare to find
out their personal space preferences
Tape on the floor

Proxemics Personal Space

Intimate; 46 cm

Personal 46cm -1.2 m

Social 1.2m – 2.4 m

Public 2.4m +

Training Tip :-

For many active and pragmatic learners the above data is rather abstract.

A fun way to help delegates engage with the subject is to observe 'fight or flight' eye shifts.

I usually divide a course into trios and give each group a measuring tape.

They lay the tape on the floor.

One delegate stands still.

Another walks to word their colleague very slowly ( half slow march speed) whilst the third member of the group observers the eye shift.

They then record the distance of the personal proxemics .

Amy looks for Marc's fight or flight response as Shane walks
slowly through March Personal Space zones

Marc walks towards Amy - whilst Paul looks on

Some extra facts and figures

Six universal visual signals

Happy, Sad, Surprise, Disgust, Anger, Fear

What information do people remember?

10% 20% 80%

Oral Visual Oral and Visual

How do we take in the world around us ?

82% 11% 7%

Eyes Ears Other senses

Humans can produce

Over 700,000 signs

Over 250,000 facial expressions

Over 1000 postures

Over 5,000 distinct hand gestures

It takes 7 seconds to make a judgement about a person when first meeting them

Related Links

Body language in a business related context

Antigone King Creon Non verbal communication master class

Lessons on Words Music and Dance from the Circus Ronaldo

Sunday, 27 July 2014

The Selling Hand Brand - High fives, Fist Bumps in Sports and Leadership #Glasgow2014

Notice the 'grasp of finger tips' style of handshake
Cook Islands Bowlers celebrating their victory in lawn bowls
Front page photograph of Times 26/7/14

In Glasgow they are currently holding the 2014 Commonwealth Games often called the 'Friendly Games'.

It's a chance to see great sport and observe non verbal communication traditions and cultures from around the world.

How handshakes are employed is an area of interest for those in selling.

Take a look at the handshakes of the bowlers from the Cook Islands. ( see right)

Another sport on show is boxing. Apart from the courage ,skill and athleticism that such a sport requires, the boxing match begins when the pugilists come to the middle of the ring and bump fists as a greeting before the bout starts.

Apparently this gesture goes back to the 19^th Century. I guess if you are wearing boxing gloves, it is awkward to shake hands. Fist bumps seemed a more practical alternative.

Similarly in cricket today the batsman often celebrate a good stroke or innings by a glove bump.

Handshakes are used to demonstrate politicians are 'in touch' with their electorate.

London Times Saturday 26th July 2014 p.15

On a visit to a barbecue restaurant in Austin Texas recently the President of the USA Barack Obama joked with an employee and then touched fists , which got his supporters raving again about how this was a different sort of president, unburdened by the formality of his predecessors.

The President of the European Commission , Jean-Claude Juncker attempted a high five when he met UK Prime Minister Cameron recently

Some consider the fist bump as a mark of equality as opposed to a handshake that they regard in some ways a kind of trial of strength.

Body language specialist Harry Witchel says “ In California in the 1970s, it was youth-culturish. It expresses connection and informality. You might bump fists first to express warmth, breaking that barrier of contact without getting too close. A hug would be warm, but maybe not appropriate.”

The University of Chicago’s David McNeil says the fist bump gesture came from African-American street culture.

“It could be a modification of the open hand slap. There has always been an informal gesture culture. Professor Neil considers such gestures as more about ‘pop culture’ arbitrariness.

“They are brands rather than authentic gestures. I don’t think they have lasting power, unlike the notorious middle finger , which has been used as an insult since the Romans.”

As Leaders we need to develop the 'common touch' in order to sell their message whether in selling or in politics. We meet people from many different walks of life and cultures. But the risk of damaging your image has also to be taken into account. Such informality as a fist bump could be construed as a lack of decorum and dignity.

As we enjoy the festival of sport and culture of Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games keep a look out for the different handshakes and body language. It's fascinating.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Selling smiles - 9 smiles for salespeople

"There is not a soul who does not have to beg alms of another, either a smile, a handshake, or a fond eye"

So said the politician and historian Lord Acton 1834 - 1902.

Here are nine ways smiles can be used to our advantage as Salespeople by sending out messages about our

trustworthiness, attractiveness, sociability and more !

A smile makes you memorable

Maybe he is not a Cavalier nor laughing
but he has a memorable smile.
One of the best selling gems of the the Wallace Collection

A friendly face might make you more memorable. Work at Duke University ( 2008) by Roberto Cabeleza and colleagues 'introduced' volunteers to a number of people by showing them a picture and telling them a name.

Using MRI , the researchers found that both learning and recalling the names associated with smiling faces preferentially activated the orbito frontal cortex , an area of the brain involved in reward processing.

1. The Trustworthy smile

One signal that suggests we are trustworthy is a smile. Genuine smiles send a message that decision makers and influencers can trust and cooperate with us.

Salespeople who smile are likely to be rated higher in both generosity and extroversion and when people share with each other they tend to display genuine smiles (1)(Mehu et al., 2007 ‘Smiles when Sharing’).

Some economists reckon that smiles have a value. In one study by Scharlemann et al. (2001) The value of a smile game theory with a human face -participants were more likely to trust another person if they were smiling. This might be relevant to those involved in a negotiation or brokering a deal. This study found that a smile increased people's willingness to trust by about 10%. (2)

2. Smile for forgiveness - let's face the music

When people do bad things they often smile when they are caught. Is this to their benefit?

According to a study conducted by LaFrance and Hecht (1995), it can be.

We treat people who've broken the rules with more leniency if they smile afterwards. It doesn't matter whether it's a false smile, a miserable smile or a real felt smile, they all work to make us want to give the transgressor a break. (3)

This seems to work because apparently we find people who smile after breaking the rules more trustworthy than those who don't.

Obviously it is better not to do ‘bad things’ in the first place but as they say– to err is human.

Often salespeople can be put in a position of dilemma for example when pressed for guarantees and commitments beyond their control. They might weaken and do the wrong thing like over promise etc. Then a smile might help when trying to repair the situation.

3. Recovery from social slip-ups smile ( 'False step' Smile - faux pas)

Has a client's name slipped your mind say at an exhibition stand or networking gathering? If you've tripped on a social banana skin , embarrassment can be your go-to emotion.

The function of embarrassment is to get us out of tight social spots (Keltner and Buswell, 1997). The embarrassed smiles we display involve looking down and sometimes we emit a silly little laugh. This is designed to elicit fellow-feeling from other people so they think less of the slip and forgive us more quickly. Embarrassment : its distinct form and its appeasement (4)

So the embarrassed smile helps us get out of jail free(ish).

4. Summoning up a smile out of politeness

Sometimes we smile both because it's polite and so that we can avoid feeling bad afterwards. Like when someone enthuses about how they saved a small amount of money with a coupon they found down the back of the sofa. It hardly seems to warrant a smile but you muster one anyway because it's polite.

In one study people were asked to remain stony-faced after hearing someone else's good news (LaFrance, 1997). They felt bad afterwards and thought the other person would think worse of them as a result.

So we nod and smile politely because otherwise we'll regret it afterwards.

5. Water off a duck’s back smile

A courier company that smiles !

Smiling is one way to reduce the distress caused by an upsetting situation. Psychologists call this the facial feedback hypothesis. Even forcing a smile when we don't feel like it is enough to lift our mood slightly (this is one example of embodied cognition interaction of body and mind).

N.B. : smiling at upsetting things may work but it doesn't look good to others. When Ansfield (2007) had participants viewing distressing videos, those who smiled felt better afterwards than those who didn't. But people who smiled at distressing images were judged less likeable by others. (5)

6. Grinning for insight – wood from the trees smile

When we're nervous our attention tends to narrow. We stop noticing what's going on around the edges of a business situation and only see what's directly in our line of sight or thoughts. This is true in both a literal and a metaphorical sense: when nervous or stressed we're less likely to notice ideas that are at the edge of our consciousness. But to gain insight into a business problem, it's often precisely these peripheral ideas we need.

Signal a smile.

Smiling makes us feel good which also increases our attentional flexibility and our ability to think more broadly. When this idea was tested by Johnson et al. (2010), the results showed that participants who smiled performed better on attentional tasks which required seeing the whole forest rather than just the trees. Smile to see the forest ;Facially expressed positive emotions broaden cognition (6)

So a smile really can help give us a burst of insight.

7. Hide what you really think

Psychologists used to think that a genuine smile never lies. Fake smiles involve only the mouth, while real smiles—called Duchenne smiles by psychologists—reach up to the eyes. Recent research, though, suggests that 80% of people can fake the crinkly eyes central to a Duchenne smile (see Duchenne: Key to a Genuine Smile?).

So smiles can be used to hide what we really think, but it's still not easy to fake a real smile because they have to be timed correctly. A key to a trustworthy smile is that it has a slow onset, i.e. it takes about half a second to spread across the face. One piece of research has found that in comparison to a fast onset smile (about a tenth of a second to spread), slow onset smiles are judged more trustworthy and authentic .

8. The money smile

Power of the smile:Argos use a smiling arc in the logo

Earlier we saw in 1. above that economists have calculated the value of a smile, but can a smile make us real cash? Apparently the broad smile of a waitress can: Tidd and Lockard (1978) found smiling waitresses made more in tips (there's no study on waiters). Monetary significance of the affiliative smile: (7) A case for reciprocal altruism

More generally people in service industries, like flight attendants or those in entertainment and hospitality are effectively paid to smile at customers. But, watch out, a constant mismatch between felt and displayed emotion—called emotional labour by psychologists—can be exhausting, possibly leading to job burnout.

A smile may make money, but it can also be draining.

9. Smile and (half) the world smiles with you

One of the simple social pleasures of life, which goes almost unnoticed because it's automatic, is when you smile at someone and they smile back.

Power of the smile:Amazon use a smiling whoosh in theirs

As you'll have noticed, though, not everyone does smile back. Hinsz and Tomhave (1991) wanted to see what proportion of people would respond to a smile aimed at them with their own smile. Their results suggest around 50% of people reciprocate. In comparison almost no one responds to a frown with their own frown. Smile and half the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone. (8)

Smile for longevity

If none of these studies can elicit a smile from you then think on this: people who smile more may live longer.

A study of pictures taken of baseball players in 1952 suggests those smiling outlived their non-smiling counterparts by seven years (Abel and Kruger, 2010). (9) Smile intensity in Photographs predicts longevity

Of course with this knowledge about the power of the smile we should heed once more the wisdom of Lord Acton

"Power tends to corrupt

and absolute power

corrupts absolutely." :)

Related Links

(1)(Mehu et al., 2007 ‘Smiles when Sharing’). http://www.ehbonline.org/article/S1090-5138(07)00064-5/abstract

(2) http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167487001000599

(3) Why smiles generate leniency http://psp.sagepub.com/content/21/3/207

(4)  Embarrassment : its distinct form and its appeasement (http://psycnet.apa.org/?&fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/0033-2909.122.3.250

(5)  Smiling when distressed When a frown is a smile turned upside down http://psp.sagepub.com/content/33/6/763

(6) Facially expressed positive emotions broaden cognition  http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02699930903384667

(7) A case for reciprocal altruism http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1979-28605-001

(8) Smile and half the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone ? http://psp.sagepub.com/content/17/5/586

(9) Smile intensity in Photographs predicts longevity http://pss.sagepub.com/content/21/4/542

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Bring out the Branson The Selling Power of Smiling

"If you're in a pickle" - SMILE

Recipe website www.greatlittleideas.com

Sir Richard Branson in Entreprneur.com Dec 3rd wrote

“….. In business, a smile can often defuse a difficult situation. If you are negotiating with a tough investor or discussing issues with a customer, a smile will show that you are willing to listen and eager to help. Smiling is infectious, so your smile may have just brightened up the day for many other people too ……

"...Over the years I have become known as the smiley man with the beard. It could be worse!.."

Sir Richard Branson

A city smile

A smiling face can become a city’s brand. Go back to 1983 and Glasgow’s miles better campaign with Roger Hargreaves ‘Mr Happy' did wonders for raising Glasgow’s profile.

A brand new ( and not so new) smile

Thompson holidays have a smile in their logo on posters TV ads and shop fronts. The Amazon box delivered to your home has a smile on it , as the Reddit button on your screen, Mr Megabus on the back of the coach on the road, the Jolly Green Giant on the supermarket shelf.

From the simplest :-) to the elaborate animated versions, the array of emoticons for emails, texting preent the user with many types of smiles for facebook caht, iphone, skype. etc seems infinite. The power of smile pervades many channels of written, verbal and vocalcommunication.

Withholding a selling smile

Of all the business news stories of 2012 with a customer service theme that caught my attention, was the news report of the threat in the negotiations between representatives for front line service personnel of the airline Cathay Pacific and their management ,to withhold smiling to passengers as wells as withhold the serving drinks and food to on board to passengers and also that they would.

For years those folk who sold over the phone learnt to ‘smile as they dialled’ because it made their voice sound friendlier.

Smiling has also been studied and reported on by those in the field of psychology.

Poker face

People have known the phrase of a poker face meaning emotionally neutral. Yet if a poker player with a skilled reputation plays an unskilled one is would probably be best (s)he smiles as a strategy to relax their opponent in order to win money off them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-2171400/Poker-faced-passport-photos-make-recognisable-claims-study.html July 2012

Status and not smiling

Status affects how readily people return smiles

Differential states of subjective power influence spontaneous facial mimicry = Evan W Carr and others

The results suggest that subjective states of high-power and low-power can have fundamental impacts on emotional awareness and perception, which are evident in nonverbal behaviours such as mimicry. The current study spurs interesting and immediately applicable questions for research in emotion, relationships, and social hierarchies. E. W. CARR, P. WINKIELMAN, C. OVEIS;

UCSD, LA JOLLA, CA October 15^th 2012 Neuroscience 2012

Subjects were shown videos of people they were told held a high-ranking position, like a physician, or a low-ranking job, like a fast-food restaurant worker.

He recorded the involuntary movements of muscles involved in smiling as they watched the videos, millisecond by millisecond.

Whether or not someone unconsciously mimics the facial expressions of another—such as by returning a smile—appeared to depend, in part, on how powerful the mimic feels, and the status of the person they are "mirroring," he found.

The researchers found that when people felt they were powerful themselves, they would rarely return a high-ranking person's smile, automatically suppressing the tendency to mimic an engaging grin, the researchers found.

"You might be feeling more competitive," Mr. Carr said.

Those who felt more powerless, however, automatically mimicked everyone else's smile, regardless of rank.

"Your feelings about power and status seem to dictate how much you are willing to return a smile to another person," Mr. Carr said. "We are really able to act as a human chameleon and react to these social situations without really being aware of doing it

This "boss effect" can vary by national culture. Chinese workers reacted fastest to a picture of their direct supervisor—but only if the boss had the power to give them a negative job evaluation, according to a study last year by Dr. Liew and colleagues at the University of Southern California and Peking University.

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Body Language in Business Context Congruence and Cluster

Take a look at this Reuters photograph from the London Metro Sports page today June 25^th.
Reading the body language what emotions is he portraying .

Is he

a. happy ?

b. sad?

c. frustrated?

d. disappointed?

e. upset?

f. devastated ?

Certainly it is emotion.

Until I read the caption I had thought this man was very distraught. Context in body language interpretation is important.

In fact the athlete concerned is the 24 year old American Ashton Eaton who smashed the 11 year old world decathlon record of Roman Sebrle by 13 points (9,039) . He achieved this in gruelling weather conditions in Eugene, Oregon USA.

His 9,039 points score left him some 656 points clear of the second-placed Trey Hardee the defending world champion. ( Daley Thompson CBE 1984 World record of 8847 held until 1992 still the UK record after 20 years!)

After the 1500 metres finale Mr. Eaton said” It is a representation of all the work I have put in. I felt in the moment. I knew there was maybe not another opportunity to make this count. After 600metres I Knew there was no way I wasn’t going to get the record”

To interpret body language the gestures alone are not enough. To get an accurate appraisal you need the three Cs. Context - Congruence - Clusters

With the rest of this post I have inserted some other sporting pictures for you to practise you body language interpretation skills.

What has this to do with selling ?

Context – is the body language in the right context.

If someone is rocking back and forth arms folded on the edge of their seat and it’s the middle of winter outside at a bus stop and they are under dressed, then they are probably cold. If they are in a warm room then the body language is out of context and there is a problem to be investigated.

Toothache ? Screwing his head back on? Stretching his neck
England and Chelsea Star John Terry
Photo of picture clipping from metro newspaper source of photo : PA

Congruence – if someone says “I really like your idea.” But their tone of voice is aggressive, bored or sarcastic and their arms are folded and they are frowning then what they are saying is not congruent (aligned) with their tone of voice and body language. So you must assume there is a problem that needs to be investigated.

Victorious? I want to punch you?
Spanish soccer star Alonso
Photo of Newspaper clipping metro source of original photograph AFP

Clusters – if someone has folded arms and that is all then they may just be comfortable so nothing needs to be read into it.
If their arms are folded, they are frowning and leaning away from you then there is a cluster of behaviours all suggesting a problem and again you need to investigate.

Buyers convey their true feelings, mainly through the following body positions body angle facial expression, hands arms and legs. These positions make up a Body Cluster.
It is the study of a body cluster , rather than the individual "cluster element" of body position, that give the observant salesperson useful clues of the buyer's true feelings.

Basic Body Language ready reckoner

Handshakes: The new Buyers' Views of salespeople Survey 2012 reveals that 91.9% of Buyers consider it always necessary to shake hands. For more information on the TACK Buyers' views of Salespeople 2012 will be published shortly, contact info@tack.co.uk

Acceptance signals: indicate that the client is interested in what you have to say and you may proceed

Caution Signals: are a sign of neutral or sceptical feelings to what you are presenting. You need to react to these signals as they represent a breakdown in communication and show little buyer interest in your offer.

Should you observe these caution signals; the following actions will help:
Alter the course of your planned presentation
Encourage the buyer to express their attitudes and beliefs through the Tell me, Explain to me , Describe for me conversational questioning technique.
Listen carefully with patience and interest to what the buyer is saying and reply directly
Express positive acceptance signals yourself.

Disagreement signals: indicate that your buyer feels strongly negative about your message and you will need to adjust to the situation straightaway.You can use some of the courses of action suggested for caution signals above, but also by:

Stopping your planned action
Reducing or removing any pressure on the buyer to buy or participate in the conversation using a more diplomatic selling style.
telegraphing your awareness of the negative vibes shows a willingness to help not just tell-sell

SUMMARY

You should be alert, not only to what a buyers says. but also to their body language. Don't jump t conclusions on an isolated gesture. wait until the gestures from a cluster before your react. You need to interpret non-verbal signals and react to them correctly, both verbally and in their own body language to increase your effectiveness.

Well I guess there will be all manner of sports photos over this summer of Sports Euro 2012, Wimbledon, London 2012 Olympics etc. to practise your body language interpretation skills.
memwhile what's Andy Murray thinking ?

Good Luck Mr Murray.

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