Honouring Selling and Design - Trust in Linked In Invitations ?

Congratulations to North London Chingford's son, Sir Jonathan Ives KBE ( Knight of the British Empire) , senior vice president of industrial design at Apple. His honour was given  for his services for services to design and enterprise, whose leadership of the design team at Apple has led to the iPod, iPad and I phone.
Such honours are given in recognition of great achievement and imply trust from the monarch through her first minister of the Treasury - Prime Minister, David Cameron.

I have yet to receive an invitation for an honour from her Majesty the Queen for "services to blogging on selling matters." If I were to do so, such an invitation for an honour from The Queen I am given to understand would be a command.

Windsor Castle , Royal County of Berkshire UK

I understand that I  would have to return a suitably worded reply addressed to the member of Her Majesty's Household who had issued the original invitation.  I would probably first need to consult Debrett’s http://www.debretts.com/


Despite the fact that the royal household is on-line nowadays http://www.royal.gov.uk/  , I very much doubt the invitation would be communicated to me in the style of those automated messages to join the chivalrous company of gallant business gentlemen and ladies of the “ The Most Noble order of Linked In ”.


“Since You Are A Person I Trust, I Wanted to Invite You To Join My Network on Linked In."

To some that flattering automated message from Linked In should have a health warning! But why , what could be more lovely in  the world of business than to be" trusted" ?


Of course when we say we did not deserve the 'honour' of such an invitation – that is not humility but candour. For we may have done absolutely nothing to deserve that trust unlike the real honours like Sir Jonathan's.

Have I met the Linked In invitee ?

0 Colleague?
0 Classmate?
0 Done business together?
0 Friend?
0 other ?



Indeed for such an invitation there is no need to consult Debrett’s but one can just lazily depress the ‘accept’ button.- job done


Linked In maybe morally neutral but our use ( abuse) of it may not be. The way that word “Trust” is used in an automated message devalues that particular virtue.

St George's Chapel Windsor - home of the Knights of the Garter. Burial place of Henry VIII and Charles I.

•  Trust and respect

This standard form of words, offered by Linked In to their members as an option in the invitation process. Perhaps we should lobby Linked In to withdraw it.

Such automated messages have the laziness of total reliance of greeting card manufacturers with nothing personal added. When received they can seem to indicate how little the sender values the would-be relationship.

 It  also indicates that the sender prioritises quantity over quality in their networking – and you are clearly a “Z” list-er.

As a recipient one  wonders how useful such a connection is likely to be.

•  Should your network be "Open" to all or restricted?

Should we be open to connections from people you’ve never met?

 In the formative years of social networking  we were encouraged to think so. Some are wary of this and prefer a closed  network.

 Open networking will help you network grow but it should like all professional selling be respectful and discriminating. It comes across a rather devious when an implication of of trust already exists when it clearly does not.

A fellow professional does a bit of research?

They bother to look up one’s profile?

 They find a reason why a connection might be mutually beneficial  ie WIIFY –What is in it for you?

• Personal invitation or junk invitation?

Your point of common interest might be in membership of the same group or in a topic that’s of shared interest.

It could be an article the other person has published or commented on.

Perhaps it could be an aspect of the individual or the company they work for.

 But if there is no common ground whatever, what reasonable expectation is their from the recipient to want to connect with invitee.

Most accept every request that shows that the invitee has taken the time to personalise the invitation and has identified some element of mutual interest.

Those connections are going to prove to be far more valuable to all concerned

•  Discerningly open

( One of the best views of London from Windsor Castle's twelfth century 'round' tower - newly reopened to the public- over the  roofs the state apartments towards the east with Heathrow Terminal 5 building- through to the horizon with Shard then on towards the skyscrapers of Canary Wharf)

"Back in the day"

Openness with discernment enables one to build up a good sized network that will prove invaluable to  growing your business.  It helps you to vet would be time wasters.

It was how connections were made in days gone by.

The Most Noble Order of the Garter is the highest order of chivalry existing in England, founded in 1348 by Edward III.

It was to be “a society, fellowship and college of knights” given to those the monarch trusted.

Knights are to be chivalrous which are qualities idealised by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honour, and gallantry.

The Order is dedicated to the image and arms of St. George as England's patron saint, and is bequeathed to recipients from Britain and other Commonwealth.

After a peerage, it is the pinnacle of the UK honours’ system .


Bestowing the honour is one of the Monarch's few remaining truly personal, executive privileges.

The most popular legend for the origin of the Order involves the "Countess of Salisbury" while dancing with or near King Edward at Eltham Palace, her garter is said to have slipped from her leg.

When the surrounding courtiers sniggered, the king picked it up and tied it to his leg, exclaiming, "Honi soit qui mal y pense," ("Shamed be the person who thinks evil of it."), the phrase that has become the motto of the Order

The motto to be found all over Windsor Castle home of the Order of the Garter. The six is just the viewing point for tourist visitors.


The order's emblem, depicted on insignia, is a garter with the motto Honi soit qui mal y pense (Old French: "shame upon him who thinks evil upon it", or "evil to him who evil thinks") in gold lettering. Members of the order wear such a garter on ceremonial occasions

Do Debrett’s offer help on “netiquette and LinkedIn yet?. Possibly they cover it “Modern manners” http://www.debretts.com/debrett's-publications/books/a-z-of-modern-manners.aspx

Shamed be the person who thinks evil of it Honi soit qui mal y pense


By the way, if we’re not yet connected, and you think that there might be a good reason to be so,  please send a short personalised invitation on LinkedIn but  please not one of those 'auto-trust' messages- my profile Hugh Alford  , and I’d be happy to accept.


 Of course, you can always follow me at distance on twitter @fruits_hugh


I’ll be pleased to follow back as long as your twitter feed looks like it might be interesting


And should it be a command from her Majesty I will consult DeBrett's quam celerrime and reply to the best of my ability. 


"Your humble servant, your Majesty."